Monday, February 8, 2010

Totally unexpected ~ scared me ~

As always ...Monday is a challenge for me ~

2 extra challenges at that ~

one expected ...the other ...unpredicted ...

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Morning was kinda warm and nice ~

like what i pictured in my previous blog ~

Took a few pictures of the sunrise some flowers and also sundown too !!
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Morning class ended early so for the firs t time in ages ...i had breakfast ~

Headed to the library to read newspapers ...and found out that there was a minor 2.6 earthquake in the Ranau area ( In Sabah)

no damage though...in fact..no one felt it and apparently some expert says that it is good for releasing some kinda pressure to prevent more sever earthquake in the future ~

wrote a letter ....to Yamazaki ~

about if's and what might happen if my life was normal ~

if all that didn't happen

but i realize that lingering in "IF's " will get me nowhere ~

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anyways ..presentation for our assignment was next...

If you know me well enough ...you'd know that i have some kind of reaction ...shivering ~

Today I tried my best to control it....

something wired happened ~

my heart was pumping really hard and loud before i was to present~

I could actually FEEL it against my ribs as it pounded...

i thought it was the air conditioning going "da dum daa dump"....in sync with the beating i felt at my ribs ~

"guzen desu" i thought ~

but after I presented ....the sound ...gone ~

i wonder if everyone feels that way when controlling their shivering ~ ...

or is there something wrong with me???

i wasn't feeling well these few days and faced insomnia ~

so...i'm not sure what was going on with my body ~

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that was expected ...some kinda nervous reaction ..( or maybe just because i'm not genki)

the unexpected one was during Sociology class ~

somehow ...between the lecture about socializing ~~

the talk about cancer came up ~

and darkness took over ~

it was worse when everyone was laughing about it ~

taking things lightly ...as if " oh ..that would NEVER happen to me..haha"

all emotions of sadness .. frustration and anger took over ~...

i tried to control it and muffled my ears with my hands ~

i could hear laughter as talks bout that topic went on ~

my chest went tight and i couldn't breathe...

my hands started to shake ~

somehow i was able to get back to normal ~ when lecture ended ~

i almost dashed out of the lecture hall ~

but i guess I could control the mixed emotions boiling up inside ~

I don't want to make myself any more "wired" like i already am ~

A word of advice ~ ...

never take sickness as a joke

it could happen to you and me ...

Life and Death is no joke ~

SUFFERINGS

no joke either ~

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Anyways .....

*gosh i can't breathe *

thanks to all that finally completed your part in the proposal ....

all efforts are well appreciated ~

^^ thanks member tachi ~

sorry for my blur-ness ....

^^

but all things are settled ~ bascally ~

leave the rest to me !!

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i need to get the washing done and take a warm bath ~

i'm too tired to post up any of the wonderful pics i got today ...so maybe another time ??

or maybe later at mid -night when i have settled some final touches for another assignment due 11th ~

^^
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gomen for the emo talk * esp to Senpai & Mao *

i need to rant out so that i can stay strong ....

and keep my stature in check ~

thanks for reading ...means a lot to me ~

as always ...

Love you all

XOXO

-miyuki-

the challenge of facing reality gets tougher ~