Actually not many knows bout Dad's passing ...
I only told one of my course mate...
Apparently the news spread...i'm not sure how far though ~
I told the first few people ~ My trusted friends ...
In a state of shock and confusion i sent one message to the wrong number ~
I planned not to tell..but it is not right of me to not inform ~
So after the funeral , I told my HS friends ~
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I know dad want's me to come back here to take the test ...
Mum is doing fine with everyone's support , prayer and help...
We are all staying strong ~
I can't do much at home either ~..if i postponed the exam, i would have to stay back and wait..so it's better to get it over with and head back to help with whatever that needs to be done ~
I can't seem to concentrate now ( obviously) ...
My mind and eyes are tired ..no mater how much i slept ~
But i'll try my best ~
Will be jogging later ....coz i know dad want's me tp
T_______T
I have no idea what will happen to me when i see all the familiar faces tomorrow during exams
I avoided all the crowded places and places with a lot of people ~
I'm not sure how to face people and also the exam ~
;_______;
i didn't want many ppl to know...because i'd make me emotional ~....
*sigh*
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I wanna thank all my friends who sent condolences and those who went all the way just to help ~
I was actually touched when my friends came for a visit ~
And also here last night ...a friend came over to accompany me ~
Not forgetting senpai ... when i entered her blog ~ i saw something ...Consoled ...when i saw that ~
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What am i feeling right now?..
I'm not so sure myself ~
I feel like something was ripped away from me ~
Yet ...i feel like he is actually on a trip ~... still waiting for him to come home ~
I remember the days when i would sit on his shoulders, gripping his hair with both hands to make sure i don't fall...
I remember how it felt..sitting on his shoulder ..he was a strong built, health conscious man ... so i felt secure ...
I remember the times i fell asleep at the couch ...half awake, i'd feel his foot steps as he carried me up the stairs and lay me gently on my bed ~
I remembered how we waited anxiously for his weekly return on Friday night when i was 4-5 ...he'd first peek through the big glass window and we'd call his name in excitement ~
Yes ..he had his temper ...i won't deny that...but he never brought suffering for us ....
He doesn't smoke at all, he'd drink very very occasionally HALF a can of beer ~
He established rules that brought me and my sis to who we are today ~
He never owed anyone anything ~
He treated me like a little girl ..occasionally reminding me to drink plenty of water , eat enough fruits , exercise, and yeah...(giggles) wash my face in school...
Everyone remembers him for being a joker ...he can talk to just about anyone ~
I can remember his smile ..when he is telling some joke or trick ...and wondering if it will work on us ~
He loves nature ....he loves the "san pa" or village ~
he'd go there visiting relatives ...old and young ...and would not hesitate to help ~
He wanted to retire there ....
But God has called him back ~
The night before the funeral ...
I wasn't sure if it was just something i pictured or a dream ~
Dressed in a smart coat , he was sitting on the garden full of lush green grass and colourful flowers like he would sit on the floor ...
he had a smile on his face...and he said " What to do? the Big Guy want's me back"
i had tears in my eyes ....
Happy coz he is back with the Lord ...and sad because he left us ~
but Dad ...you have fulfilled your duty of securing a future for me ~
so you can rest in piece ...
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The Funeral
Dad was laid to rest Friday morning ~
I hasn't been raining in my hometown for quite sometime ~
But the night before the funeral , it started raining...
it rained ..all the time, non stop ...from the hospital to Church , from the church and during the funeral ...it wasn't pouring heavily...some sort of light rain ..a little heavier that a drizzle ~
somewhat , it consoles us ~ ...
Surprisingly after the funeral ...the rain stopped ~
and it hasn't rained since ~
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In Loving Memory of my dad
1959- 2010
I love you dad ...
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I have a favor to ask ^^
Please pray for his soul ~
Prayers ...it helps ~
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